The Boston area was hit by the second of a two-part storm system today, causing local schools to be canceled and roofs to collapse under the weight of all that global warming.

Overjoyed school children awoke to discover that, once again, they had a global warming day.  Instead of going to school, they spent the day building global warming men, having global warming ball fights, and making angels in the global warming.

School superintendents wondered aloud when children would make up yet another global warming day.

The Boston area has been hit with one full gore of global warming this winter, as another decigore fell just today.  Another 200 centigores of global warming is predicted for Saturday.

Stores are reporting record sales of global warming blowers, and weary consumers complained that there are none left to be found.

Officials remind the public to shovel the global warming with your legs and not your back.

Commuters were stranded due to dangerous road conditions.  Plows have created such mounds of global warming that visibility has been decreased to a dangerous level.  Boston officials mulled dumping the global warming into the ocean.

Al Gore once famously said "the planet has a fever".  My driveway begs to differ.